How to make my Child independent & confident?

Last week, as I was dropping Abdullah in his group at the kindergarten, I saw another boy playing on his own with some toys. Abdullah got really excited to see that he was making a house and wanted to play with him. He didn’t even want to change his shoes or take off his jacket. As soon as he went near that boy, he pushed him away and harshly said ‘No’. The poor child clearly wasn’t in the mood of playing but Abdullah was adamant.

Instantly, my motherly protective instinct kicked in and I really wanted to step-in. Being a mother, you always want to protect your child from every odd situation. But immediately, a thought came into my mind that I won’t be with Abdullah all the time so I should let him tackle the situation himself. I stopped myself from intervening for good and stood behind the glass windows to see what happened next. Abdullah tried again and this time the boy only stopped him with a mere loud ‘no’. Abdullah responded by touching his chair and teasing him (teasing is his hobby 🙄). After trying twice, Abdullah finally gave up and went to play with some other kids.

The reason of sharing this story with you guys is that after this episode, I realized that parents should not involve themselves in every little problem. They should rather let their kids manage independently. One of the many parenting styles is Helicopter Parenting. Such parents are over-protective and take excessive interest in their child’s experiences or problems (particularly at an educational institution or places where kids interact). This type of parenting can leave long-lasting effects on your child.

  • Children may not be very independent. They may not be able to deal with real problems independently. When kids aren’t independent, they may find it hard to make decisions on their own.
  • Children may not be very confident. And lack of confidence can be a big issue later on in life.
  • Children may act-out a little. I have personally experienced with Abdullah that when he gets hurt even slightly and I run towards him, he starts crying but if I stay calm and tell him that you are a brave boy, he gets fine (Later on, I make sure I hug or kiss him but not at that very instant)

In short, each day and each experience serves as a learning opportunity for kids. They learn how to deal with small issues and as they grow up, they even have the courage to handle bigger problems…

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