Do you ever feel that you aren’t doing enough as a mom & your decisions may be detrimental to your kid’s future? A feeling of disappointment engulfs you and you are convinced that you are not suitable to raise a child? If yes, then stop for a moment and remember that you are not alone in this. Every mother goes through this feeling at some point in her life & this is something that’s called MOM GUILT. Let me share a personal story with you guys.
Abdullah’s kita (day care) was due to open on 15th June. We decided to send him but I wasn’t sure about it. Mainly due to the current pandemic situation and secondly, I had grown habitual of him being around the house (although he drives me crazy at times😁). Anyways, Monday morning came and we went to drop him. It was raining and we got late. Abdullah had a bottle of milk round 2 am and I was counting on breakfast at kita but we missed it & the next snack wouldn’t be given until another 2 hours. I bid Abdullah goodbye and came back to the car with a heavy heart. I was already emotional & the thought of him being on an empty stomach made me want to cry. I decided not to eat anything until he eats.
A train of negative thoughts came pouring into my mind convincing me that I’m not doing good as a mom and have failed to manage time. But before I could ride this emotional roller coaster, Saad came looking for breakfast😁. He noticed my sadness and started consoling me. He told me that it’s not that big a deal. Kids go for hours without eating anything so I should not worry. Honestly speaking, if he wasn’t around, I would have spent the entire day with this guilt. I would have ruined my day which I could have otherwise spend with my child in a rather productive way.
So here comes the important question: how to handle mom guilt? It is important to SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE and ignore those who criticize your parenting style. As a general rule in life, distant yourself from negative people. DONT BEAT YOURSELF UP OVER LIL THINGS. Try to identify the reason for your guilt & see if it’s really worth getting so upset about. ALWAYS STAND BY YOUR DECISIONS AS A PARENT. Many people won’t agree with you but that’s alright. Do what you think is best for your child as something that works for one child may not work for another. DO NOT COMPARE YOUR CHILD WITH OTHER KIDS. This is a major cause of mom guilt & leads to feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes, we mothers get worried if our child isn’t hitting the milestones that other children have already achieved like rolling over, crawling, standing etc. But keep in mind that every child is different and learn on their own pace. A mother should only be concerned if you notice something out of the ordinary and consult your doctor instead of discussing it with family or friends and getting even more upset. BE POSITIVE & SUPPORT OTHER MOMS. We don’t know what challenges they may be facing so BE EMPATHETIC. If a mother is concerned or upset about something, just listen to her so she can vent out her worries and feel better. Lastly, LOVE & SUPPORT YOUR KIDS AND EVEN SPOIL THEM A LITTLE ❤ The phase of childhood doesn’t last forever. A time will come when our kids would be independent and grown-up and would be busy in their lives. So enjoy this time and make memories that will last forever…